F."; not that I would like to fuck myself (although an activity I admittedly occasionally enjoy), but that I am a [veteran] mother who is knowingly fu...kable. I am 38 years old and am the proud mother of two lovely children. My oldest, Fred, is 19 years old, the same age I was when I brought him into this world. His father, Frank Applewater, was not excited at the prospect of fatherhood. He took off to live his life in California, free from the responsibility to his impending son, when I was. ”“Well, have fun with that. Mum is picking me up in half an hour. Will you be here alone tonight as well?”“No, I don’t think so.”“Good. Then I’ll sleep at home. Sunday morning coffee with something nice still on?”“Always. I may get something from the supermarket, though. I might not have time to bake something.”“I can bake a cake with mum. Give us a shout if you can’t manage. Can I shower first?”“Sure. Just don’t leave any weird circles anywhere.”“Oh, you bastard!”Granted, that was a cheap. More

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