Bubble baths, lotions, perfumes, attire, cosmetics, none could soothe my soul’s blemish. I tried going to church but God wasn’t in to hear my plea.... My husband's concern and kindness made it worse; I couldn't kiss him on the lips. I needed forgiveness but like a spy, I couldn't reveal my secret shadow to anyone.In 1995, two years after Paul's debasement, I became a grandmother. A joyous event, but one my soul’s blemish kept me from fully enjoying.Soon after, however, serendipitously, I entered. ....... i started to cry barry said whats wrong i said i dont know how to swim,im scared of the water , Barry ran over to me picked me up and gave me a big wonderful hug and kissed me - i was shocked as i never had a kiss from another boy before. Barry said i wont let any harm come to you promise , he swung me round to his hip where my small penis and balls rubbed against his naked body , he then picked up michael and put him on his other hip and went towards the water .even though i was. More

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