I confessed I was bi and about my fear. He gradually talked out of me details about Jon's and my masturbation. I could not believe I had said all th...t. He was not judgmental at all though and assured me masturbation was normal, natural, necessary and healthy. He told me some masturbation stories of other freshmen he and the other RAs had counseled and how they coped. I was not alone. He said the number of masturbation related issues has increase every year for the past decade. It used to. And all eyes were on me and I was dying in the pain that engulfed me and swallowed me whole. If only I could die I would be happy. Laying eyes on my son erased the pain and closed the wounds on my face and body, it breathed new life into me and assured me that our souls are real, and that our pain however intolerable is fleeting and not in vain. I was afraid to touch him as if he were made out of cotton candy and my fingers could reshape him and turn him into nothing but so much sugar from. More

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