”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmac‎So I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you w...at I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10 fridges.A jellyfish walks into a hardware store and buys ten drills.Supermarket: a place where you can spend a half-hour. “Gotta go, Tom. Take care.”Kyle fell in beside Sally and walked off toward class, his hand reaching for hers. He called out, “Andy!”Andy and Patti hung back a step or two. “Yeah?”“You figured out who you’re going to date yet?”Andy rolled his eyes. “Geez, gimme a break. I don’t even have a clue.”Patti slugged him. “Dummy! I have to do everything for you. I’ve got an idea, so you be on time for lunch, hear?”“Mr Pryzck, Ms Fratelli is on the line for you.”Peter picked up the phone, “Hi, Maria,. More

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