It also helps to learn enough about a person to know what makes them react - to know what buttons to push and which ones to leave alone.Personally, I'...e always had the desire for someone else to be in control of me, at least sometimes. It's like taking a vacation from myself. I want someone to get inside my head and turn the volume down and lead me to feel things I really want to but am afraid to try. I was raised to be the "good girl", not allowed to let go and enjoy all the nasty little. All she said was that she was going away to attend grad school. She offered no hope that we would try to stay lovers or even hope that we'd get back together at some future date. That would have been enough for me, but I knew it wouldn't do any good to beg her to reconsider.Why did all my relationships have to end this way? Was I seeing a pattern?Alice was my first steady lover. She was ten years older than me and we had an understanding; she would teach me things and I would fulfill her needs.. More

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