"So, dear reader, this is where our story really begins, CAF Day 2015.Wick and Marti (short for Martina) Calfi awoke that Monday morning much as paren...s do elsewhere. Six a.m., the sun peeking over the sill of the master bedroom, and daughter Heidi and son Alex arguing about the bathroom."Just go away Alex, I can't come out right now," Heidi sobbed from inside the closed door of the bathroom."Sheesh, Heidi, It isn't like I haven't seen your body before and you never lock the bathroom door, what. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor old Titanic!Two old guys were sitting in. More

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