I was lucky I didn't have to pay alimony to Dixie and we'd never had children so I was gradually able to make improvements and put the ranch on a soun...er financial footing. But... well, I wasn't kidding myself. Every day I lived in various shades of gray.I think I faced up to it okay — anyway I did my best. But there was this hollow place in me that nothing seemed able to fill. I'd still go to The Stampede once a month or so, more out of loneliness than anything else I guess. I maybe had this. “Unnnf!” Patrick grunted as I felt his groin push up against me, his penis completely buried within me. I continued crying, more now because I knew I enjoyed it. Why did I like him in me? He wasn’t the one! But my body did not care about “the one for me.” My body wanted a man, any man, to make me feel like a woman. I felt the disgusting slick wet of our genitals as he began to pull out and push in with quick strokes. I hated the feelings I was having as instincts began to take hold.. More

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