Never compromise with excuses, never forget. So, yeah, ten years and three months. Only know that because Artie reminded me last week. Like drug addic... in recovery, like drunk in program–except when I fall, others do, too. Fell today. Quiet parts of me ask ‘Why?’, louder parts ask ‘When next?’. Locked in middle is me and body of suspect in most recent job. Body is innocent. Found out two minutes ago. Ten years. Three months. Two minutes. Half-second. Body and me sitting on bench in Macall. I had been so distant and argumentative with her and I could see how upset she was. However all I could think about was Mike and how much I wanted to be back in his arms and have him make love to me again. Again, the morning started in the usual way. I guiltily waved Amy off to work and rushed upstairs to run my bath, shave and cover my body in baby oil, ready for a morning of cross dressing and, hopefully, another fucking from Mike. I hadn’t seen Mike all week; although I was sure he would be. More

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