The three minute walk seemed like three hours. My feet were suddenly buckets of bricks to be dragged along each step with effort. I must have drawn wa...y glances from passers by as I mutttered my excuse to myself in some weird outdoor rehearsal of my rebuff. "Look, John, I'm sorry, but I cant do this, I'm really sorry to have wasted your time." Oh God, oh God, oh God.There was his street. I turned into it. His number was on the blue door of an old Victorian house converted into 3 or 4 flats. His. Not waking Sandy (as she slept soundly beside me); I showered, shaved, and dressed. Today, I would become a ‘spaceman’.Heading for the briefing room we had gathered in the previous day, I smiled happily at everyone I passed. I had put the revelation made to Sandy, the previous day, far behind me. Today was a new day, and I was learning a new skill. All to embrace my new life.I wasn’t doing a good job of convincing myself I was happy with leaving. I tried to pretend anyway, hoping the pretending. More

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