I was too scared. I tried to tell her that I can’t but she just didn’t listen, she started doing stuff to try and make me hard and I couldn’t ha...dle it anymore. I pushed her back and just came out with it, ‘I just didn’t love her’… I don’t know why! Next thing I know she started hitting, kicking and screaming at me, accusing me of being a poof and gay because I hung out with her gay brother… Then she grabbed her things and ran off yelling that I’m gay and how she was going to tell the whole. For the first time I expressed my thoughts and feelings out loud and to another person, it felt almost therapeutic, what it didn’t feel like was confessing, to me that infers guilt and I simply don’t believe that what I desire most is wrong.Sometimes I lapsed into silence as I worked out how to express as yet unspoken desires, Laura was and is a good listener, almost empathic, at times she would reach out, a gentle touch, just enough to get me talking again. Much of what I told her now forms. More

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