The box full of accumulated desk crap sat by the door to my private office. Meanwhile I sat at the now immaculate desk returning the last few emails i... my inbox with semi-polite variations on “fuck off, it’s not my problem anymore!” The phone rang. I rolled my eyes. I was going to be out the door for the last time in half an hour, what could anyone possibly want? “Mr Sanders, there’s a young lady in reception for you,” the receptionist said. I smiled. “Hmm, what’s she wearing?” I asked. “Excuse. These are designed so when you look at them from the side they trick your brain into thinking you are seeing the sides of my face and nose. It must really work because you’re only two feet away and can’t tell they aren’t just sunglasses. The only times I get to take them off are when I have the lights out. Candles and special, really dim LED nightlights are almost too bright. Some days I have wondered if I really did get the good end of the deal. They made me some special dark tinted contacts I. More

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