"I mean, she knows how... she knows what they represent, what certain combinations are supposed to mean, stuff like that. But I really think that she ...ctually has visions when she looks at the cards... especially when she arranges them in a circle. I think it's sort of like a medium looking into a crystal ball or something. She confided in me a couple days ago that her visions aren't as sharp now... not as clear. I think that the more she reads books, the less sharp her second vision will. And so it went. Present day: My thoughts and actions are shifting a bit. I still consider myself a heterosexual. I still shave and wear women’s lingerie, underwear, etc. but the frequency is getting less compared to a few years ago. There’s nothing sexier than a woman, to me. Perhaps that’s why, if I could, I’d become a woman. But when I watch straight videos, I put myself in the place of the woman. I identify more with her. I’m not wishing I were that guy nailing her, but wishing I was her. More

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