Steve could see Gwen struggle with an answer that would be true, but not overly embarrassing. ‘Don’t worry, Steve never saw your clothes come off....He was in the kitchen at the time. It just didn’t seem right to let you sleep in street clothes and I wasn’t comfortable dressing you in sleep wear. I sat with you until almost three. I got so sleepy I couldn’t stay awake, so I woke Steve up and asked him to watch you while I caught a couple hours sleep.’ ‘This is very embarrassing,’ confessed. If I had been sure that Icould stop the desire by cutting off a finger, I would undoubtedly havedone so. Looking back on my life now, I wonder how much energy andwillpower I spent trying to look and act "normal" and trying tosuppress a big part of my soul.*** Early adulthood, life struggle, the giftThe inner conflict of rejecting a part of my personality becameroutine. I tried hard to look manly and cool. If someone made jokesabout gays, I was the first to laugh. I even started dating girls.. More

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