The book inspired me to build my desires for having a boy and then mating with him, as gods did in heavens.The book also had a detailed procedure of h...w to do it. I was required to chant kamadava’s and rati’s name everyday for about 10000 times. This was huge but me being a very religious girl, found it pretty easy. Then, there were the sixteen fasts for lord Shiva on Monday which I duly adhered to.There was also one ceremony or worshipping nude which I did at night. I stripped myself and then. Once we used to be lovers. When that part of our life ended I was least aware of it, except I woke up one morning and realised he seldom touched me anymore. A long time ago he composed sonnets in my name, and always he welcomed me with a tray of breakfast and a kiss in the morning. I can’t remember the last time he did any of such to me. Too many times I’ve tried getting back some measure of feeling into him. Once I’d even jumped on him at night, but he’d knocked me off from the bed and turned. More

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