Never write a fucking novel, you idiot. I was happy with my life until I did. And then as soon as it published, everything turned to shit flavored fro...en rain. And this is the most important thing… Whatever you do, never write a goddamn successful novel, you fucking idiot! ***** As you might have expected, I speak from personal experience. And now, in the time honored tradition of shitty novelists everywhere, I am going to take you all the way back to the beginning, whether you want it or not.. "Didn't you two get the memo?" she told the two women behind the bar. "The theme for tonight was Too Cool for School!"The waitress was dressed in a school teacher outfit. Formfitting black pencil skirt, with cross lacing tracing her shapely rear, stockings and patent leather black heels, she towered over the shorter girls behind the bar. She wore a white button up shirt and a black matching vest. Her hair was in a tight bun, with a wisp of it loose, dropping over her face. Tiny glasses hung on. More

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