I guess I first thought about it at the winter seeding. I was waiting for the ceremony to begin, looking at the participants. They were waiting, legs ...part and ready, lying on the seeding beds. I'd been to the seeding ceremonies for as long as I could remember, but this time it was different. I knew that next season I'd be participating. It would be me on the bed waiting, and the rest would be watching me. Already, I was getting nervous about it.I focused on my friend, Celene. She'd told me all. First, I've never been very good in social situations; they make me exceedingly uncomfortable, because I stand out, which draws attention. Even after all these years I've never gotten used to the attention. I can handle people when I'm on the offensive, when I'm working. At times like that I'm in my element, secure in what I can and cannot do or say. Social events take me right out of that secure little world and leave me feeling uncertain and insecure.And second, since 1995 I've been able to. More

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