I realized this was my chance to give him a memorable birthday present.I didn’t think anyone had heard my boast, but the guys at the next table bega... pointing at me and chanting, “Here’s a volunteer!”I slumped in my chair, having second thoughts, but the rest of the audience picked up the chant. Mason then pushed me toward the stage. What could I do?“How about a hand for the brave lady?” the announcer asked as I mounted the stage.The crowd complied and I started feeling good about my decision.. "Oh, look Olivia!" Sam exclaimed, peering through the gloom and pointing at a family of feral raccoons checking the trash." It's a Mama bear and her cubs."Olivia scoffed, condescendingly, and said, "Those aren't bears, fool! Those are possums."Neither woman’s future was in zoology.They shared a joint of Snoop Dogg's finest Sativa as they glimpsed the varmints chewing on what seemed like Burger King wrappers. Their euphoric high took their minds off the cold, so they returned to a more pressing. More

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