Laura and Ally had turned me into a living scarecrow! I’d been attached to the wooden cross, arms out stretched in a Jesus Christ pose, the balls o... my feet resting on the lawn as I overlooked the patio where a crowd of strangers stared at me. Looking down, I tried to make out what had been written on me. It wasn’t easy, but eventually I was able to guess. 'I want to be used like a slut.' Laura had written it in bold letters with a thick black sharpie. That wasn’t all. On my mound she’d. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those. More

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