“You know I nearly didn’t come tonight.”Now I dreaded the worst and clearly, she could see my crestfallen face.“Oh, not because of you! No… ...o! I just felt I um… I made a bit of a fool of myself last night.”“No, you didn’t, not at all…” I started to reply.“But I’m really glad I did. I’ve had a wonderful time.”Once more panic set in - “had” she said, “had,” not, “I’m having,” I didn’t know what to do or say. As my mind wrestled with the best course of action silence fell between us once again.. I never forgave them for having so little faith in me. I didn't deserve that. I was always the perfect child, never a rebellious teenager. The rift between us widened until I eventually left home and I haven't seen or spoken to either of them since.Despite what happened to me that night I'm not down on men. And I'm not asexual. I often lie in bed at night and imagine what it would be like to find a nice man and fall in love; to go to bed with him and make love. I want nothing more than to have. More

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