I needed purpose. I was thirty years old, divorced and without a career. I didn't count framing houses or carrying hod a career. I'd lived off the lan..., worked on a ranch, and failed at marriage and business. I was aimless, without long-term goals. And gambling held no interest for me. I wanted to be an important man, make a difference in the total scheme of things, which to my way of thinking back then meant that I'd need to be a wealthy man.Won't be too difficult to get rich, I told myself,. And then at the end, I just kind of felt sad." I'm sorry." Don't apologize--they were just a bunch of stupid dreams." No, that's not--" Buffy began, then stopped and took a moment to think about what she wanted to say. "I should've never gotten into this with you. I know I've made things so much harder for you now, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. It was selfish of me." I'm a big girl, Buffy. I knew what I was doing. I knew the situation. Yeah, sure, of course I wish it could've been. More

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