“I needed some time away on my own.”“Please don’t give me that line of bullshit, Mom. Dad called me up when he got home and found the note you...left.“He told me that after 25 years he knew that the lies you were spouting had to come from someone else — it wasn’t something you thought of on your own.”Her mother frowned at that, but didn’t say anything.“Dad told me right then that the only explanation he could think of was that you were running away with a lover. He didn’t know whom; but he just. These Are Compliments of John ASome are dated but are still funny...1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.3. How to prepare Tofu:a. Throw it in the trashb. Grill some meat4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours. More

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