You can get a drink when I'm alive, the job is done, and Eileen is back where she belongs."And then I think my left hand slapped me in the face, proba...ly because I ended that sentence in my mind with "back in her crazy ass"; Eileen was left handed."See? You need a drink too, you just won't admit it. Like the fact that you are actually attracted to members of the same -" You're getting us a ride to Mama Adele's, and if you try and finish that sentence the way I think you intend to, I'm gonna. Sounded my phone signaling 8 A.M. on Sunday morning. Normally I'd be loathed to get up this early any day, on a weekend especially, but today was different. Today is going to be the best day of my life. Excitedly, I climbed out of bed, careful not to trip and fall flat on my face as I rushed over to my calendar hanging on the wall. I squealed with glee as I marked off today's date, August 18th, with a red sharpie. After 18 long years of waiting, I was finally going to college! For years I've. More

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