I was too worked up to go back home so I went to a Denny's to think over several cups of coffee. I just had a wonderful time with a gorgeous young lad..., so why couldn't I just revel in my nirvana and be happy ... because after twelve years of loving someone, you don't just turn it off like a switch. For the second time tonight I felt the pangs of guilt. I thought about what Diane said, how guilty she felt after sleeping with someone. I wondered if she felt more or less guilty than I feel right. That had been a very vocal time with all sorts of accusations and scornbeing directed at me. I'd promised faithfully I'd never do it again andI'd hoped she might come to forget or even accept it, but no. She said Ihad been untrue to her and she was very hurt by what she'd discovered.She had become very quiet and our relationship seemed suddenly morestilted, our closeness damaged. I was even sure she had been searchingthrough my things and discovered the drawer of feminine clothes by mybedside,. More

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