Faster than you can say, ‘Johnny jump up!’ They’re too busy getting laid by some new guy every week, it seems. They go out camping, or hang-gli...ing, and get into all kinds of wild things I’ve never even heard of. Things I’ll never get a chance to do. Or would I? Brad was taking quite an interest in me lately. ‘It’s probably just out of pity,’ I thought. After all, I still had that mommy-weight to lose. ‘If we keep on dancing like this, it’ll be gone soon!’ I shouted over the music. ‘What’ll. She’s been holding a desk job forever. I knew a while ago that my dear wife Judy has been fucking someone else. We haven’t really shared a bed for a while. I don’t think either of us resents the other for this. It is a loveless and lustless and dare I say listless marriage, and we have decided that if either of us finds the perfect partner, the other will gracefully accept it and step out of the way. In the meanwhile, we are our own little dysfunctional family unit. It is what it is. I have. More

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