Right?"Well," his wife urged, "what else did you get?"More reluctant than ever, he sat back down -- OH! -- and took outsomething else. Well, at least...it was small. When he removed the paperhe was again puzzled for a moment. It was a short tube of pink plasticwith a wider ring attached. The ring was in two sections joined by ahinge. And there was a small, heart-shaped, red padlock included. Ohno. I couldn't be."Look at that," his wife said with a grin. "I think this thoughtful giftis. They'd all tried it. The cheerleaders, the girls next door, the artists, the hot girls, the models, the titty girls, the booty girls, the nerds, they'd all had their shots. And they'd all failed. I knew that someday, maybe when I was fifty I'd settle down but not much before then. It was like that song in one of those fucking Elvis movies my Grandma used to make me watch with her. "I gotta lotta living to do."Bonnie, on the other hand, was even more fucked up in the head than I was. Where I was. More

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