We could then have a couple of wines and take our time without having to worry about Tim getting tired. I said, "Alright Gran, go pretty yourself up a...d I will escort you to a lovely restaurant." While she went upstairs, I quickly looked up the restaurants in the area and made a booking for 8.00pm. I also booked a taxi so that I didn't have to drive. "Take your time Gran, we don't have to be there for about an hour. I'm going to have a shower and get dressed myself." We got to the restaurant. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering. More

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