" I laughed and squeezed her hand, I thought she was going to cry when I showed her the bathroom, she stood and stared at the gleaming tiles, the whol... bar of scented soap, the toothpaste, the bubble bath, the big fluffy towels on the heated rail."Can I have a bath, Tommy." Shall we try that again mum please?" I laughed and could have cried for her when she said with bowed head."Can I have a bath PLEASE?" Oh God mum, I'm sorry." I hugged her again, "You were supposed to say, "I'm having a. " And that was it. He left without another word.For a long time I stayed there on the floor, collapsed, like a prettypaper parasol turned inside out in a violent storm. When I finally gotup, I was unsteady on my feet. I weaved my way into the kitchen andturned on the electric burner under the tea kettle. I would finally havethat tea. My hands, I couldn't help but notice, were trembling, evenworse than before. I took a Xanax with my tea. Then I took another.Since that night, I've been waiting,. More

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