I was chatting up a divorced woman, Lucy, she was 47 and had been ‘single’ for seven years.Donna had had a few lagers and was on the whisky, we me... up in the kitchen when she said “Anyone here you fancy?” “Yes her over there” pointing at Lucy, “You” I asked “Him over there” pointing to an older man talking to two others. After midnight, when we’d kissed everyone and wished them a happy new year I walked into the garden where Lucy was.As we sat down having a cigarette she was telling me about. Perv calling. That's what he calls himself and I call him that too because it is fitting. He's been calling about once a week for the last year or so.I punch him in and Mr. Perv greets me with, “How's my redneck teeny daughter doing today?” I think that's so funny because (1) while I do have a southern accent I am not a redneck, (2) I'm not a teenager and (3) I'm certainly not his daughter.I know nothing about this man except that he says he is 54 years old. I'm 99.999% sure that he doesn't. More

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