"Do I walk in on you when your bedroom door is closed?" "No", she said, "But I heard you moaning, and thought you were sick or something. But I see yo...'re just, um, jacking off." "Get in here, and close the door; do you want Mom or Dad catching me doing this or you watching?" I asked her. She snickered, and came in, closing the door behind her. "Don't worry about them catching us", she said. "Mom said they were going to a party and wouldn't be home till late." So, what's it like, jacking off I. The mat on your doorstep may say "welcome," but that mat is a lie, isn't it? Isn't your home decorated with bars and chains and other ornaments that say, not "welcome," but "go away"? We both know that the bars and chains and deadbolts are not for me. They're for others; not Santa. They are there to protect your from all the other dirty old men prowling through the night, who would like nothing better than to break into your house to violate your virtue. For me, you leave cookies. You. More

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