After excusing the receptionist, who was obviously curious, but knew when toleave, she started again."You can't be serious?" and before I could answer...she added "There is no way I'mgoing to lose, so why not save us both the bother and just leave now. If youdon't, well ... in an hour you won't dare show your face out there. So, howabout it, ready to call it quits?"I was a bit taken aback. I really didn't know what she was going on about. Ijust wanted to go through with the dare and get my prize.. On the one hand, it turned me on like I had neverexpected. On the other hand, I was experiencing a lot of conflict withmy sexuality. I will say in those days, that I would have more than abit of anxiety thinking that I was gay. I was more than a bit ignorantof the transgender scene, which was non-existent in my home town as faras I knew, and the internet was not as sophisticated as it is now. Itmay sound odd, or contradictory, but I guess I convinced myself that ifI was a woman, it would. More

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