We rather self-consciously undressed in separate rooms and when I entered the bathroom, James was already sitting in the soapy water, sipping his drin.... He had turned the music system to a soft music station and selected the bathroom speaker outlet so that the gentle music also filled the steamy bathroom. “Hi,” he said gently, smiling, “You look absolutely fabulous.” I knew he was being generous but his words were comforting all the same as I felt more than a little anxious. This was entirely. He handed me a large envelope and I ran out of the house.On the way home I was as confused as ever. I never wanted to do that horrid thing in the first place. It just happened. And now here I was doing something even worse in order to cover up that first time. This was all madness.When I got home I was too humiliated to see Mom, ran into my bedroom and locked the door. I realized I still had the envelope in my hand. Why hadn’t I thrown it out on the way home? Maybe I was afraid someone might. More

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