My sister lived in Irving, a suburb of Dallas on theForth Worth side, and I had never visited her therebefore. Helen had lived in New Jersey before he...husband was transferred, when we used to visit eachother quite regularly. I would spend weekends inPompton Lakes, and during the week Helen would comeinto the city and stay at my place overnight.We had always been close, Helen and I, as close as anytwo sisters could be, even though Helen was severalyears older than I, and for a time after she. The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was. More

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