My girls friends joked they'd love to go to bed with him. I wanted to go to bed with him, too. Of course until that fateful night I was afraid to ever...approach him. It was a Thursday and I had gone to a friend's house. I called my father and told him she and I were going to go out and get a hamburger and thick shake for supper and I wasn't sure when I'd be home. "Okay," he said, "thanks for letting me know."What I told him was a lie. He knew I often had sex, but there was no need to rub it in.. These times are when I most want tobe a girl, believing that becoming one will be the cure-all for my life.This thing has always held me back in my life. I've always felt that if Ibecame a girl all my confidence issues would vanish into thin air. If Ibecame a girl I would want to go out into the world, find work, do allthe things I wanted to do. I'd have a life that was the complete oppositeof my life as a boy.That's what I believed would happen. But it never did. Whenever I'd go tobed wearing. More

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