“Goddamn it Lance,” she said. “I’m looking for a man who can find this nubbin, this pearl, this little man in a boat.” She pointed to the it...m she was referring to once again. “That’s what I’m hiring you for. Capisce?” 3 Now that I finally understood what she wanted I got right to work. The first thing I did was take out a classified ad. “Help us find the missing clitoris.” It read. “Desperate beautiful woman. Big reward. Apply at Lance Armstrong Detective Agency, 211 South 4th.” When I got to. “I’m surprised you don’t know me, Danny boy!”I paced slowly towards him.“Oh no you don’t...” he struggled. He knew“Oh yes, you know now!” I stood in the light. “I’m the one who’s been shagging all the boys!” I grinned “And don’t you know it!” His brow got sweaty as I held out my hand. And out fell the end of a whip, he gasped. Fright? No, I don’t think so; I’ve heard that gasp before...“So, why don’t we start at the top? You obviously know I’ve been...having some fun. How? I haven’t told. More

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