Cool huh? He and I got on better than Martin and I. He was open and we’d get drunk together and have a laugh.One evening, after he’d been living t...ere for a few months he came out of his room looking utterly flat and bewildered. His gf in the US was going away or a weekend with a couple they fantasised about swinging with. It was a dead cert, according to him and it felt like a final breakup. I chatted for a few minutes, conscious that Lisa was due to arrive for a night in in a few minutes. I. There in front of me stood a man in red and blue overalls and a moustache straight out of a 70s porn film.Relieved, I embrace him, he held me close and I tell him my mistress is in another castle.I feel his bulge underneath his overalls as he whispers in my ear,“I’m here to rescue YOU, Toad”My heart stopped.I hadn’t had this feeling before, my body stiffened and a tingling ran up my legs.‘He couldn’t mean me’, I thought, a 3 foot nobody.I take pride in my appearance and make sure to be. More

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