“Was it painful?”, asks the former.“No, not really” says the second.“How about when they cut off your dick?”“No that really wasn’t the...worst of it.”“Really?” says the first.“How about when they had to create the new hole? That must have been painful.”“No the worst part was when they stuck the straw in my ear and sucked out half my brains.”Why did God give women nipples?To make suckers out of men.Why did the Detroit Lions hire two nuns and a prostitute for the new season?Because they needed two. "Drugs,"she said, "they are ruining the youth of America." Hell yes," I said, looking at the men dancing in thecorner, their little legs stomping gaily as theyjumped and capered, doing kooky dances, laughing andhugging. "This is shameful. Somewhere in the bibledoesn't it forbid this kind of heathen fun? Dancing like that? With no rhythm? On the Sabbath?" I'm sure Reverend Fountain used to tell that topeople," Dr J said, "but it's one thing for a anal-retentive, boozy middle-aged hypocrite to. More

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