‘It’s not for them, silly. They make presents for their grandchildren or great-grandchildren and Father Christmas gives them out at a Children’s...Christmas Party the week before Christmas. It isn’t at Christmas itself because most of them spend that with relations. The home is usually empty or almost empty then.’ ‘Why me?’ ‘The old man who has done it for years died last month. I could have asked one of the other old boys but they are really too frail for it. Several of them are worried that. When my Aunt Linda left the waiting room she took the good air with her. Here’s the thing about me, I don’t have many vices but the two that I do have are doozies. Many people keep emergency Oreos and Ho-ho’s in their desk drawers and can eat an entire candy aisle when they’re upset. For some there’s solace at the bottom of a glass. Bars would close if people didn’t need a few after a hard day. Could I just have one of these simple steam-release valves? Oh, no not me. I have to buy shoes, lots. More

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