.. We had become very close, helping each other stay sober and sharing our experiences with problems and relationships. Even though Catie and I had ...ever had sex, we always ended up talking about what the sex was like with these other people. She would joke about things like my penis being too big for a girl or her breasts being too much for a guy. The truth is, it was too big for some girls, and I wondered how Catie knew that. We'd watch movies together, even sleep in the same bed. Always willing to spring for pizza or a flick. After spending all days and nights with him I even felt myself in love. How could I ever imagine I’d hated him like I did now? And how could a small part of me still feel love for him? As I lay there in the dark, I could not stop the tears from falling, The pain I endured that night hit me so hard that this was the first time since it had happened that I had the opportunity to feel real emotion. I willed the tears to stop but they wouldn’t. More

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