I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, y...u’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the. I don't think the incredible Hulk could pick this boat up without getting a hernia.This boat is 272 feet tall at its highest point so even if you jumped off of it in a storm wearing your life jacket or not, you'd be fucking dead as disco hitting the water at that speed. I do not want to get on this fucking boat. I know for a fact that my life will never be the same. So why am I doing it?I'm doing it for the same reasons that all men do anything. Yep, there's a woman involved. In my case it's. More

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