Maybe it’s the guilt of knowing I’m not normal, the humiliation of knowing I can’t do that. It’s also maybe the worry of ever being expected t... ‘perform’ – though it’s highly unlikely any girl would even consider that, unless it was for money I guess, or charitable.No, I love being a wanker and wouldn’t want to change, and I love it when girls know I’m a wanker. I love the sense of delicious guilt and shame and humiliation – “just pathetic, you wanker!” I particularly love it when a girl knows. We talked for an nearly an hour and I finally said those horrible words, “You can come and live with me.”It was settled. A month later Chris had sold everything she could and bought a plane ticket south. I met her at the airport. By now I hadn’t seen Chris in seven months, but I didn’t expect her to have changed so much in such a short time. She had cut her shoulder length hair to a short, almost boyish look and had bleached it blonde. The last time I had seen her she was a bit overweight;. More

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