I was coming from practice at my Sensei's Ryo at his house. I had just received a new bokken (wooden practice sword). Sensei had ordered it for me fro... an old Master in Japan. He had been most adamant that the usual commercial items were not made correctly and would not last. He had assured me that this bokken would be well worth the expense and would last me many years. It had been more expensive than I had envisioned, but I did have the money, earned from my summer job, and now it was mine.My. The band tried to raise my spirits.My family did the same. None of them were successful. It wasn't until Iwas squeezing the band's Carerra Bear during our pre-concert ritual that Istarted to feel the despair slowly withdraw from my system. I held ontothat Bear for a long, long time, and eventually I became aware ofcomforting arms wrapped around me.I knew Stephanie was going to kill me as I stood there hugging that bear;the tears sliding down my cheeks meant that she would probably have totouch. More

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