Taking a deep breath, Jim answered his wife’s accusation. ‘No, I certainly didn’t knock her up. The closest thing to sex I ever had with her was...bumping into her tits by accident when coming out of your bathroom one time. I didn’t know she was coming in at the same time I was going out.’ ‘I know,’ Celia said with a smug smile. I just wanted to bust your balls, baby!’ ‘CELIA!’ Jim yelled in exasperation. Joanna and Paul clutched each other while they laughed at the trick Celia had pulled on her. "I'm sorry I look and smell like this," I said, when Chris came back in. "I live in my car and there is no room for niceties." Why do you live in your car?" she asked."It's a long story." I've got all night," she said.I sighed, took a sip of hot tea, savoured the taste and began my story."...After I'd lost my job, I couldn't afford anywhere to stay and without an address you can't sign on for unemployment benefit and things just went downhill from there. For the last few months I've been eating. More

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