It wouldn't come backto me until the next Monday or Tuesday.Then I'd put a wrong zip code on the envelope, and fret as it took afull week or so for th... key to come back to me. I loved it, which isprobably why I didn't completely freak out when I got my envelope backone day with a message from the Post Office saying that my letter hadbeen damaged in transit. The sorting machines had ripped the key out ofthe envelope, leaving me locked up tight with no way out.Okay, that's not really true. I knew. ‘You don’t need to see the TV. ‘Put the string in your dripping cunt and leave it there. Spread yourself on the floor face up, legs spread and frig yourself for one minute. Don’t come.’ I don’t know which was worse, the ginger or knowing that someone was watching. How many were tuned in I wondered. ‘Your audience is twelve men,’ the voice said, ‘but there will be more when we market you properly. Now stand up and remove the string. I pulled it out, wet and gooey. Tie it around your neck.. More

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